Every once in a while I come across a book that’s not only enjoyable to read, but that leaves me with a meaningful message that stays with me long after I’ve completed the book.
One such example is The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. It’s filled with insights from these two inspirational men. But what I find especially valuable is a section on the “Eight Pillars of Joy”.
One of the eight pillars is something I cover extensively in this blog: gratitude. I think the other seven are also important, so I’d like to touch briefly on each of these.
Perspective
Looking at things from different points of view can make even challenging situations more tolerable. Our perspective is our outlook on the world, and fortunately we have control over this outlook. We can take a given situation and be miserable about it, or be more positive.
I remember getting laid off from my job at a publishing company years ago. It was a family-owned business that offered lots of opportunities for
advancement. Even though it had become more “corporate” following an acquisition by a larger company, I still assumed I had a job there for life if I chose to stay.
I was wrong, and my first reaction was disappointment and fear. Within a few weeks, though, I was looking at things differently. My perspective had changed. I saw an opportunity to become my own employer and be responsible for my own success.
It’s now more than 21 years later, and I’ve never looked back. Becoming a freelance writer proved to be a great decision, and the first step was to change perspective.
Humility
In a world that often glorifies power and professional and financial accomplishments, humility might not always be the most popular quality. And let’s face it, we’ve all experienced pride and maybe a sense of superiority now and then.
But have you ever found yourself really admiring someone who is being genuinely humble? This is especially true when the person actually is someone in a position of power, or who has accomplished great things.
I like the Merriam-Webster definition of humility: freedom from pride or arrogance; the quality or state of being humble. It seems like humility often equates to kindness. I’ve encountered many people in my personal life and years as a writer. The ones I’ve been most impressed with and drawn to are the those who aren’t overly impressed with themselves at the expense of others.
Humor
Laughter really can be the best medicine. It’s not just a quick pick-me-up, but can lead to long-term benefits, according to the Mayo Clinic. These include improving your immune system, relieving pain, increasing personal satisfaction and improving your mood.
Having a good sense of humor is a great trait in general. But it can be especially important when we’re facing personal challenges or observing so much negative news around the world. When we join others in laughing at something funny, it somehow connects us.
Being able to laugh at ourselves and our own limitations is an important part of finding inner peace and joy. Taking ourselves too seriously can bring on feelings of resentment and unhappiness.
Acceptance
There’s a reason the “Serenity Prayer”—God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference—is so popular. It makes a lot of sense.
The first part, about accepting things we can’t change, makes difficulties easier to handle. What’s the point of agonizing over things we can’t do anything about?
Serenity is such a great thing. If we experience serenity, then we’ve reduced or eliminated stress. While to some people acceptance might seem like giving up or defeat, it’s not at all. It’s being realistic about the world and our place in it, and trying to make the most of things in a given situation.
Forgiveness
This is one pillar of joy that can be extremely difficult. In fact, it might be the most challenging of the eight. Sometimes when we’ve been wronged in some way we just want to stay angry at the person or situation that caused the hurt.
Even so, we all have the ability to forgive. And maybe the most surprising thing about forgiveness is that it is so difficult. When you think about it, forgiving someone doesn’t so much help the person who committed the wrong, but rather the person who was wronged.
When we forgive we make a decision to let go of resentment and anger and replace these feelings with positive thoughts. We put aside bitterness toward someone who in many cases might not even realized they’ve done something to hurt us. When we look at it this way, it’s easy to see how forgiveness can lead to joy.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean absolving them from blame. But it does mean deciding to let go of the negative feelings that can end up being far worse than the original wrongdoing.
Compassion
Compassion is responding with care to someone else’s distress. It’s closely related to empathy. But while empathy refers to sharing in the emotional experience of another person, compassion adds a desire to alleviate the person’s distress.
Very Well Mind, a mental health and wellness platform, notes that there are multiple ways to practice compassion. These include speaking with kindness, apologizing when you’ve made a mistake, listening carefully and without judgment, encouraging other people, offering to help someone with a task, being happy for someone else’s success, accepting people for who they are, showing respect, and being patient.
Having compassion for others—and ourselves—can help make a positive impact on our own lives. Think of how you feel when you help someone who’s struggling in some way, or give yourself a break when stress levels get high.
Generosity
We typically think of generosity as giving money or other gifts to people or organizations. That’s certainly part of it. But it also involves giving our time, which is really our most valuable resource.
Think of someone you know who spends a lot of their time, money and talents helping others, without any expectation of something in return. That person is probably living a happy life. That’s because giving really is better than receiving. It brings us joy, and the satisfaction of knowing we’ve made a positive difference.
Together or individually, I think these pillars can indeed bring us joy and positivity. If you’ve read The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, I’d like to know what you thought of it. If you haven’t, I highly recommend it.
“We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future. The more compassionate you are, the more you will find inner peace.”—Tenzin Gyatso (14th Dalai Lama)
“Your ordinary acts of love and hope point to the extraordinary promise that every human life is of inestimable value.”—Desmond Tutu
If you haven’t subscribed, you’re missing out on post updates! To subscribe, type your email in the box below then click on the green subscribe button. When you receive a confirmation message from WordPress, click on the “confirm now” button to complete the proces
Leave a Reply