Two Sides to Every Coin

As the old saying goes, “there are two sides to every coin.” Virtually every situation we encounter can lead to some good and some not so good outcomes. The trick is to focus on the positive aspects of life and let the negative ones go.

Recently we had a chance to celebrate an early Christmas with our two sons and their girlfriends. Spending time together was a wonderful gift. They all live out of town, and it was nice to be in one place for the holiday season.

Among the highlights were conversations we had about many different topics such as current events, sports, life in general; and opening presents together. We enjoyed the latest video games, which have graphics and sophistication I couldn’t have imagined back in the days when I played Atari games as teenager. We also played some street hockey, and that gave me a chance to push the limits of my prosthetic foot.

Unfortunately, such visits must come to an end. The time passed all too quickly. Once our visitors left and the house was quiet, my wife Reneé and I decided to take a day trip out to Port Jefferson, one of our favorite spots to visit on Long Island.

It was nice to take a trip that didn’t involve seeing a doctor. I had gone through a round of medical visits recently, not high on my list of fun things to do. It was a beautiful day for the hour-long scenic drive. This was our first time going to Port Jefferson since before Covid.

We ate lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, at a table with a great view of the harbor and the ferry boats. After lunch, we visited the town’s Festival of Trees exhibit. All in all, it was an enjoyable day out.

Unfortunately, shortly after we got home my stomach started bothering me. Turns out I likely got food poisoning from lunch and faced the unpleasant consequences. By evening, I felt dehydrated and we went to the emergency room so I could get some much needed fluids.

While I was relieved to get help in the ER, I wasn’t thrilled that half the staff was sick. One of the nurses taking care of me probably felt worse than I did. Another ended up being taken away in a wheelchair. I spent the night there as a precaution and heard a lot of coughing and sneezing between catnaps.

Despite all this, I was glad we took the trip to Port Jefferson. We had a really nice time visiting a familiar place that we hadn’t seen in a while. It brought back pleasant memories of previous visits. This was one of the first places Reneé and I went to after we first met.

So there are two sides to this experience, and I choose to focus on the positive. The good outweighed the bad. And as it turns out, even the bad provided some enlightenment.

Sometime in the morning a new patient arrived in the room where I was staying at the ER. Oddly enough, this man had some of the same conditions I have, including kidney and heart disease, and he had come to the ER because of dehydration resulting from an illness.

But he also had quite a few more health issues to deal with, and when the nurse asked him to confirm his birthdate I learned that he was 20 years younger than me. He had suffered a cardiac arrest in his forties and was on dialysis because of kidney failure.

Hearing my roommate’s story—and I couldn’t help hearing because we were a few feet apart in the room—reminded me to keep things in perspective. We got a chance to chat before I went home. There was no one accompanying him, no family or friends, and it seemed like he needed someone to talk to. Everyone has their own challenges and can use support.

Maybe it takes a visit to a place like an ER to be reminded that other people are going through struggles. The knowledge that you aren’t the only one struggling helps you to leave the woe-is-me attitude behind, and makes it easier to see the positives.

As I look back over the past year, I realize there were many moments that had positive and negative sides to them. At times, the negatives, such as losing my left foot and then going into heart and respiratory failure, were so overwhelming that it was difficult to see any positives. But they were there.

It’s been a difficult year for me physically. I’ve been in and out of the hospital four times, three of those times with fairly serious issues. I had to re-learn how to walk, change up my lifestyle, and cut back on work, among other things. However, along the way I have had so many positive experiences that I definitely see the glass as half full.

My two sons made several trips home, a few of them on short notice. They were kind, supportive, loving, generous, sympathetic, thoughtful—all the qualities you would want your children to have. I couldn’t be prouder of the men they have become. Their girlfriends were also here for many of the visits, and we love them like they are our daughters.

I’ve received thoughts, prayers, encouragement and well wishes from old friends who I haven’t spoken to or seen in years, current friends, Facebook friends, my blog community, my wife’s quilting class, staff at all the medical facilities I’ve visited, my family, my wife’s family and neighbors.

There are definitely times when my health issues get me down, I must admit. But then I look at the overall picture. I think about all that I have to be grateful for, all the positive things in my life.

We all face “coins” that have two sides, moments that give us a chance to wallow in despair or embrace positivity and gratitude. Choosing the positive can be difficult, but the rewards are worth the effort.

I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year. Stay positive and look for things that fill you with gratitude.

“The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings”—Robert Louis Stevenson

Special note: This is the season for giving, and in an upcoming post I’ll discuss the ultimate in generosity. You might recall from an earlier post that my brother is in need of a kidney transplant. Well, a wonderful young man who is a close friend of his family has come forth to be a donor. Stay tuned for an update.

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