We live in a world that is frequently divisive. All you have to do is tune in to the news or a panel discussion show, or even attend a family gathering, and you can see how contentious things can be. Much of it is driven by politics, but conflicts can arise from virtually any aspect of life.
Divisiveness happens when we can’t—or don’t want to—understand someone else’s point of view. Maybe doing so makes us feel like we’re giving up something of ourselves. We don’t look to common ground, and sometimes we do not communicate in effective and constructive ways.
The lack of understanding or refusal to look at things from another point of view can lead to arguments, frustration, and even the end of relationships. It can also drain positivity from our lives.
This is all to introduce the topic of empathy. I think a big reason for much of the strife is a lack of empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.
Empathy means trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and experience the emotions they are experiencing, even though you aren’t going through or have never gone through the same situation yourself.
Empathy is kind of a broad term and it can be broken down into different types. Research about it involves complex concepts such as genetics and neuroscience. But I won’t get into that.
There can be a lot of misunderstanding about exactly what empathy is. I recently saw an interesting graphic that said people think empathy is feeling sorry for someone. But in actuality, the graphic notes, empathy is:
- Sensing someone’s emotions
- Imagining yourself in someone else’s situation
- Listening attentively to someone else’s experiences
- Avoiding judgment and criticism
- Showing genuine concern for someone
- Offering support
- Respecting someone’s feelings without trying to change them
Those things sound a lot more productive than simply feeling sorry for someone who’s hurting. Instead of just feeling bad, we embrace what the individual is going through and try to provide help in some way. In this way, the power of empathy can be transformative.
We can practice empathy with anyone we know: our spouse, children, other family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, even strangers.
Being empathetic can be difficult, but it’s something we can all do and it’s a crucial part of healthy relationships and social interaction. I can’t help but think if there were more empathy in the world we would have less divisiveness and strife. And for that reason alone, it’s a force for positivity.
“Humans aren’t as good as we should be in our capacity to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others, be they humans or other animals on Earth. So maybe part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if, in fact, that were ‘reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy.’”—Neil deGrasse Tyson
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