To be honest, I wasn’t going to write this post. In fact, I wasn’t sure I wanted to write any more posts at all. Sometimes, we just get physically and emotionally drained to the point where positivity, gratitude and mindfulness seem like distant concepts.
But I decided to write it because—like every other post on this blog—my intent is to share content that might in some way be helpful to others. Even if one reader gets something out of it, then it’s worth the effort.
About a month ago I had major surgery to fix an internal bleeding issue. The operation was a success. The recovery process has been slow, however. There have been a few setbacks, including episodes of pneumonia and shingles that I’m still dealing with.
These complications were not expected, and have delayed my recuperation. I like to think I’m resilient, but as I mentioned, this has left me somewhat drained.
As always, I’ve had the unceasing support of my wife Reneé during this ordeal. She was at the hospital every day, encouraging me to fight on. She goes above and beyond. We recently celebrated our wedding anniversary, a special reminder of how lucky I am to have found such a partner.
Especially during times like this, I’m so fortunate to have Reneé by my side. She has dealt with the healthcare issues I’ve experienced with compassion, courage, and patience. These ordeals have made our love for each other stronger. I am truly blessed.
In the midst of the post-surgical ups and downs, Reneé suggested that I adopt a mantra, “this is tough, but I’m tougher.” At first I kind of brushed the idea aside because I didn’t think it would help. But then I began saying it to myself or out loud, and found that it did help.
By thinking about the words as I said them, I gave myself some reassurance that I could get through the challenges. It didn’t stop the pain or give me physical strength. But it did provide motivation to carry on.
I’ve also done a lot of praying. Aside from bringing us closer to God, prayer can provide benefits including providing a sense of purpose and meaning, elevating mood, helping to cope with difficulties, enhancing gratitude, promoting mindfulness, and promoting physical healing.
I’ve also tried to look for any positives wherever I could find them: small acts of kindness by the medical staff; texts with good wishes from family and friends; taking tentative steps in the hospital hallways to help with recuperation; and listening to music on my headphones.
This song in particular, which somehow popped into my head at some point, seems especially fitting:
None of this experience has been easy. Life sometimes isn’t easy. When we’re physically, mentally, and spiritually distressed it just takes sheer determination, will power, to cope.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of waking up in the morning, dragging yourself out of bed and doing the best you can despite the challenges. We need to push ourselves. But this has to be with the gentle reminder that we can only do what we are capable of doing at a given time.
One of my healthcare providers gave me some suggestions of what to do during recovery, and I have found these to be helpful:
- Find comforting and enjoyable things to do.
- Get the nourishment you need for healing.
- Draw from your gifts of resilience and coping skills, remembering how you’ve overcome challenges in the past.
- Be patient; this is a temporary setback.
- Be kind to yourself, acting as a coach with your best interests in mind.
- Think about things to look forward to when you’ve recovered.
If you’re going through a difficult challenge, whether it be a health issue or something else, try not to get discouraged. As hard as it might be, look for the positives in your life. They are out there, or they are in your heart and mind waiting to be rediscovered.
And remember, what you’re going through might be tough. but you are tougher.
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”—Christian D. Larson
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