What happens when generosity, compassion, courage and empathy come together? Something quite special.
You might recall from a previous post that my brother Paul was in need of a kidney transplant. He has polycystic kidney disease (PKD), a chronic ailment that reduces kidney function over time.
Several people volunteered to be organ donors for Paul, including Steven Tock, a long-time family friend. Unfortunately, Steven was unable to donate. But his son Chris immediately stepped in and offered to be a donor.
Chris proved to be a good match, and last Wednesday Paul received a kidney from Chris at North Shore University Hospital on Long Island. The kidney began working well right away, and both donor and recipient are recuperating with the support of family and friends.
As a kidney recipient myself—going on 29 years now—I can relate to the medical marvel that is transplantation. And I can fully appreciate how generous and selfless Chris is for doing this.
What makes this story even more special is that Chris’s mom, Teresa, is a childhood friend of Paul’s wife Laura, who passed away last summer from a neurological disease called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy.
The two families have been close for many years, often taking vacations together and enjoying milestones in their lives. Paul’s sons Brian and Kevin consider Chris a dear friend.
For Chris, who grew up on Long Island and works as a cash management analyst in New York City, the decision to donate his kidney to Paul was a “no brainer for me. He needs it more than I do.”
Chris says he was inspired and motivated by his father’s wishes to be a donor. “When he was put on hold for medical reasons, I wanted to get tested to see if I [could] be a match for Paul as well,” he says. “He’s been a friend to my family since I was born. My mom and Laura were best friends since they were two years old, so our families go way back. It’s as if he’s an uncle to me.”
Paul, of course, feels tremendous gratitude. “This selfless act of love by Chris—and his dad—starts a new year with hope and moving our lives forward,” he says. “I’m forever grateful to the Tock family for their friendship, humbleness, and extraordinary kindness.”
For many recipients, an organ transplant is literally the gift of life. The United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS), a non-profit organization that serves as the nation’s transplant system under contract with the federal government, says people of all ages and medical histories should consider themselves potential donors.
You can register to become a donor by visiting registerme.org. UNOS points out that organ donation, from a living or deceased donor, is consistent with the beliefs of most major religions. It says there is a need for donors from all races and ethnic groups.
Living donors make thousands of transplants possible every year, according to UNOS. Relatives, friends and even individuals who wish to remain anonymous often serve as living donors to spare patients a long and uncertain wait. In 2023, more than 6,900 transplants involved living donors.
Of course, donating an organ is not an everyday occurrence. But we can all make a difference everyday through simple acts of kindness.
For instance, we can drop in on someone we know who lives alone and seldom comes in contact with anyone. Or we can visit someone who’s in the hospital.
I remember when I had to be hospitalized for an extended period last year. I was fortunate to have family and friends visit or call on a regular basis. One of my roommates had no visitors the entire time we were in the same room. I’m sure that must have been difficult for him.
At a time when positivity and generosity are desperately needed in the world, we can all do some good—in ways large and small.
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”—Stephen Grellet
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